Infinitely Unique

Over the course of the last 150 years we have improved our life. With medical advances, new technology, better safety measures, we have extended our life span and reduced child mortality rate.

When we measure mortality rates, we use different ages as a guide. Although we know, that our children will always be our children, no matter what age, mortality rates in children are measured in anyone 25 and under.

In Canada, in one year, there are about 270,000 who pass away. Of those only 4412 are for children -those under 25. Our population in Canada is around 37 million people. That means that less than .01 percent of the population that leave this world are children.That makes those of us left behind infinitely unique in our grief. Even if you add in all those up to the age of 50, the percentage is still less than one percent.

The problem is, that with such a small amount of us who are in this terrible small and infinitesimal club, we are spread so far and wide, that some can feel so very isolated and alone.

With the number of grieving parents such a small number, it is often the case that they don't have close friends who have walked this path. Many of us have amazing friends who are sympathetic, empathetic, helping us to walk this path. The only problem is, that they don't KNOW. They love us and help us but we need others who share our terrible journey. We need to have others understand, that this is a forever state for us. We may not always need others, we will learn to live like this, but we will always be forever grieving

A song that a good friend sent me says it all "I hope, I love, I pray, I cry I heal a little more each day inside (but) I won't completely heal till I go home(to be with my son)"

I thought that there wasn't a lot written about our grief, so I started this blog to help others to understand what we feel. What we will always feel. So if you know someone who has lost a child, if you have a friend you haven't seen in a while, reach out. They still need you. They will always need you. They will always want to talk about their child. They will talk about their child every day from now until they "go home". Help them to walk this path. And if they reject your help, leave it for a while and come back again another time. Trust me, they need you. And I think that you will find that in helping them, you help yourself.