In Memory Of...

In my quest to find comfort, I have been researching other parents who have suffered loss and how they dealt with it. My research led me to a list of celebrities who lost a child. Marie Osmond, John Travolta, Eric Clapton. And there are so many more.These celebrities have to hid their sorrow and continue on, in the public eye with the whole world watching. Each day must be a challenge for them. Many of them set up funds or wrote songs in memory of their children. Eric Clapton wrote "Tears in Heaven"to honour the lose of his 4 year old son.The very song we played at CJ's celebration of life.

Through my research I found George and Barbara Bush had lost their 3 year old daughter many years ago. For some reason their story and their life touched me. President Bush actually wrote letters and a journal, where even years later he talks about his the grief and sorrow from losing his daughter.They both accomplished so much after their lose, championing causes in her name.

I found grieving parents who set up a foundation or some sort of funding in memory of their loved one. It helps to ease the pain through service to others. We have done that for CJ, and it does help.

Then I found the parents who go far beyond. Who created a lasting, and far reaching change in memory of their child.

Jonathan's Law came into affect because of a grieving parent.Jonathan's Law states is that all grieving parents must be given a year off work, if they so choose, with their jobs available for them when they are ready to come back. As a grieving parent, this law means so much. This first year, full of "firsts" and the changing of the seasons, makes life unbearable.

I found a woman who had lost her son to an overdose while others stood by and watch. She indicated that she and others like her, helped to get the "Good Samaritan Drug Overdose Act" passed. This act provides protection for anyone calling 911 to report an overdose with no fear of reprisal.

I want to be one of these people.I want to make a lasting difference in memory of CJ. Not so that his death will have meaning. Because his death will NEVER have meaning. I want to give life to his name, make a change to create a memory of him.

I know I am not ready to be one of those people now. But I will be. And when that day comes, I will find a way to make a change that will honour CJ and what mattered to him in life. A change so profound that when you hear of it, you will always think of CJ.

That day is not yet. I am not ready. But I will be. Soon.