Growing from Support to Friendship

After CJ passed away, I reached out to so many that knew him. I craved to hear their stories of life with him. I wanted to get to know them, to feel connected to my son through them.

I found out they were all such wonderful people. So many different people but with one thing in common. They all loved CJ.

There is this feeling I get when I am around others who know and love CJ. When we talk about him, when we reach out to each other, there is this thing I call the feedback loop. Their love of him flows to me, through me to him and back around me to them. A circle of connection.

I loved spending time with them and feeling that connection. My son loved them and they held a piece of him with that love.

What I started to realize lately, that over the years, that connection has changed.

It became so much more. Without me realizing it, my relationship with all of them took on a new form. A friendship that was outside that connection. I think it was always there, but I couldn’t see it. CJ connected us, but we had grown to being friends. I hope that it is not hubris to say this - they are my friends.

I see them so much clearer now. I see them both through the Lense of the relationship they shared with CJ and now with the relationship I share with them.

CJ will always be in the room when I am with them. He will always be a part of what we share. Now, years later, there is an ability to accept that we have created a connection to each other all our own.